Alright, so I went to this thing. Now I have to say that the friend that invited me over for dinner, well she doesn't know about what happen between HIM and I. She only knows that some how he plays a role in why we're separated. She thinks that it's because they were getting too close, little does she know.
So, as I said in the previous post, she was keeping both of us HIM and I both apprised to the situation, what we each were deciding in terms of going or not. She contacted him to let him know that I was coming over as well, and she told me he was feeling uneasy also. Heck all three of us were. I honestly didn't know how I was going to react. I love my wife, truly. I don't see a life without her. But maybe were just meant to be really good friends, maybe we aren't suppose to be lovers in the biblical sense. I don't know. But I digress, back to the topic.
When we get to her house, I saw his car parked out front. My chest gets just a bit tighter, but my heart rate didn't go up. Trust me I stopped to checked. We got to the front door, and I saw him through the window sitting with his kids. Yes he was married and has two kids, but the kids are great...spoiled but great none the less. I even miss them a bit, except for the nagging part.
So in I go. I greet everyone there (well almost everyone) and I'm glad HIS kids are there...I know I wouldn't do anything in front of those kids. I told my wife I'd be very close to her this evening, and I might even need to lean on her for some support. It was awkward the entire night. I spent most of the night avoiding looking at him, talking to him, just about anything to do with him. He asked me about my leg, and I answered, politely. No one at the house knows the events that had transpired all those weeks ago.
Now some of you in cyberspace might be asking yourself, why in his right mind would he do this? He's insane! The only answer I have for you all is a simple one. I love her. He's her friend, and well, I don't want to make her choose. She says he's been helpful through her struggles, and as much as I despise him, I can't argue that.
On the drive home, I told her that I was uncomfortable the whole time there. I'm not sure if I felt more like a predator waiting to pounce or if I was prey, ready to run. I do know that I wasn't calm again until we left, and I was driving home. I told her that I was a bit frustrated. She asked why, and I told her.
We planned an outing today with a friend and possibly his family (no not the same guy), and she took the liberty of inviting him and his kids! That made me very uneasy, and I told her so. I know I took a huge step in just being in the same house as him (its a huge house), but I really didn't want to push my comfort level, and anxiety levels. She apologized. I told her that it was a test for me. I don't want to make her choose between me and him, not right now.
One day at a time.
I really do not think it's appropriate for her to invite him along for things. I think it's wonderful that you're giving her the space to have what she needs, but frankly, I'd have asked that he NOT attend the dinner part from the night before because if he respects you and your relationship with your wife (or even just your wife), he'll give you the space to heal and work things out. Bluntly, that's what I think. They lied and cheated and may feel remorse, but you need all the space and time you need to heal. So there.
ReplyDeleteI agree that inviting him to disney was totally inappropriate, and I actually told her so. She said she didn't even realize what she had done, and was inviting everyone at the dinner.
ReplyDeleteAs for the dinner, we were both invited by different people in the house hold. I was by our friend, and he was by our friends mother. So yeah.
Trying to clarify my rants.