One day at a time.

I think I'm in the denial stage. Been reading this book, Surviving Infidelity, and that's what symptoms I see. She's further along in her recovery, but I'm just starting out. I have the need to try to work thing out, but she's moved on. She has told me that at this point in time, that isn't going to happen. Maybe down the line way in the future, but right now...right now it's no.

Such a small word no. Two letters, yet so huge in meaning. It's been awhile since this all happened, and I could tell the story again from my point of view, but hell, what for? I'm just going to hurt myself again. I need to move on...I know that. We have to live our separate lives.

I need to make new friends. Friends that I don't have to explain why this happened. I need to keep busy, but to be honest, I don't know how. After so much time, and our lives so interwoven with each other, how do I do that?

I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid that I'm loosing someone so close to me. My Best Friend. She's still the only one I can really talk to.

We're going to continue to go to therapy. We both can benefit from understanding how this all happened. Like she said, we need to get through this so we can learn from it, so we don't do this in our next relationship.

I know I can make. I have to. There's no other choice.

So, one day at a time...that's how I'm going to have to take it.