First of the Month

"Wake up, wake up, wake up it's the 1st of the monthTo get up, get up, get up so cash your checks and get up"

Thirty-one days are gone. Amazing how fast that happened. Well, a few updates on my resolutions.


1) Finances are getting in order real quick. Summer is fast approaching and being a teacher, that means no checks.
2) Getting Ripped. Running a bunch! watching my diet, not dieting. Those "dimples" one gets right where the abs and hips meet, they're forming nicely.
3) Been focusing on me, and I'm doing better for it.
4) Slowly, but surely things are being donated, recycled, or tossed.


On a side note, I went back to airsofting for the first time in over a year...it was fun, but I don't think I'll be going back to HSP.

Hacked.

Hey all,

You might have gotten an email from me about joining twoo...I didn't send the email, and I want to say sorry if you got this email from me. Do not open the email, as I'm not sure what it's all about.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

New Year's Resoultions

Around this time every year, people all over begin to make a list for themselves. Often times it will include things that we take way or give up, eat less, lose weight, stop smoking, drinking, or some other substance. It also can be things that we want to do more; exercise more, save more, or laugh more. But often, these lists that we create for ourselves fall short in the end. "I'll start in the new year," is often the mantra that many aspire to. Why do we put so many things off until another day? If its something that we want to change why not start right now? I read somewhere once that "Procrastination is like masturbation.  At first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself." Not sure who wrote/said that, but how true that statement is.


So, what kind of resolutions do I have... There's a loaded question for myself. Well, this year I want to make changes for myself. I need to work on me, and focus on that. This is in every aspect. I have several things that need to be worked on.


For those that know me, you know that I'm working with some great people to try and open a charter school. This place is going to be crazy. Gone are the days where we only prepare our students for the "high stakes" tests that need to be administered to students. No, we're trying to bring education back to what it's really about...thinking. Yes, I know, so simple, yet its something that education had moved away from.


Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Resolutions. So I've come up with a few things.


1) Save Money. Now this might sound easy, but honestly, I have issues with this...I like to spend. However, now that I'm on my own, I got to budget better, and get a grip on my finances.


2) Get Ripped! Now most of us have a goal like this at the beginning of the year. "I want to lose weight, I want to get in shape, blah blah blah." Come on people, stop wanting and let's do this. I'm trying to workout 6 days a week, but at least 5. Nothing much, nothing crazy...just making sure to get at least 60 minutes of physical activity in everyday. Now the getting ripped part...well, I'm not sure I'm going to get it...but I'm going to by trying every day! So if you want a workout buddy...hit me up.


3) Focus on me. After so many years of being in a relationship with the same person, doing what I though I was doing to keep things smooth...well forget it...I'm looking out for number one. What this means, either get on for the ride, or get off...don't drag me down. Now this doesn't mean I won't work on the relationship that I'm in. It only means I'm not going to take shit like I did before. Sorry for the language.


4) Get rid of crap. I have a lot of crap that I just can't seem to let go of. Why am I hanging on to it? Well, it could be useful...right? Well, that something that I have to work on.


So there it is...my resolutions. I have 352 days to get this all done...unless the end of the world actually happens on 12/21, in that case does it really matter?

One month

So, I've been moved out for a month now, and holy cow, I have a lot of stuff. It amazes me how much stuff I have. Books, DVDs, camping gear, and pictures (along with frames). I have boxes that still haven't been put away because I need to figure out what to do with them all. I think I'm going to have to just donate much of the stuff. My Internet still hasn't been turned on...damn power outages and high winds.

Slowly, the place is coming together. Once everything is put together, I might have a house warming. For those that did help, thank you. Without your help, I wouldn't have been able to move so quickly.

Dejavu

Dejavu, that feeling or knowledge that you've done something before, or something happening and you feel that you've been through it. All those years ago, when I first started dating  my ex-wife, she had gone through a difficult time when her grandfather died. She was a mess, especially since she had just visited him less than a month before. She had a difficult time, and I was there for her. Fast forward to present day, and it's like dejavu.

My current girlfriend is going through the same thing. She just lost her grandfather, and she too just saw her grandfather less than a month before. I'm not trying to draw any parallels to the two relationships, as each are unique from each other. However, it did make me wonder if this is something that happens around me. Do I have some phantom that follows me around and offs grandfathers of those that I date? I'm not trying to make a joke, but it is something that I wonder.

I'm helping her focus...making sure that she gets to grieve, but still getting the things that needs to be done done. There will be time to grieve in a week...finals, get that done...I might sound cold, but it's the truth. The dead are dead...they'll still be dead when finals are done. I've lost people in my life as well, but things need to get done. We need to hold ourselves together to get them done, then we can grieve. When my father past, I had to keep it together. My family around me were heart broken, but I had to keep it together for my mother. She needed someone to be able to lean on, and so I was that rock. The foundation that kept her going, doing thing that needed to get done, even when we didn't want to.

Once again, I'm that rock. One more week, that's all. One week of keeping it together, then she'll be able to take the time that's needed for grieving. So for now, we got to take it one day at a time...slow and steady.

I finally moved out.

So last week I announced that I was officially divorced, this week, I'm moved out.

I'll be honest, I thought I could still live there in the house that we bought together. I thought that I could make due with being in the same house, even though she didn't sleep there anymore. I thought things would slowly get better for me, but ultimately, I wasn't happy. Sure I was in better shape than when I first started, but happiness was temporary. When I wasn't home, sure, my mind was elsewhere so it was easy to forget everything, easy to move on. However, I still had to come home at night. See the photos, the house, the rooms. Things that we bought together, our dog, which is now her dog.

In addition, I'll be honest, living there, I couldn't save any money. Everything that was divided, well turns out I've been paying for everything, mortgage, insurance, prop tax, everything. She was taking from me what I was suppose to be paying once a month, twice a month. Well, anyways, what's done is done. I'm out. Done. Finished.

Long run, this has got to be healthier for me right? I mean, staying there was driving me crazy. I felt uncomfortable in my own "home." People kept telling me that I needed to get out of there, and so now I finally have.I have my own place now. I have my own stuff. So begins a new chapter. A new part to this journey that is called life. I have my friends and my family, what more could I ask for.

It's official!

So Monday was my official date of my divorce. A friend once told me, "you never forget you're first. First kiss, first xxx, first divorce!" I honestly wish we could have parted ways still being friends, but there's just too much of a difference between us. I find this funny since we have been with each other for soooooo long. Alas, people change. Or in my case, didn't change.

My mom called me the other day to wish me congratulations on my divorce. I thought that was funny. Then she started to say that I should let her choose my next girlfriend, but stopped short if stating so. She realized that she did choose the ex, lol.

So what's happening, I'm finally moving out. I'm easing my hands of this entire thing. Walking away and never turning back. Today (actually Monday) will end this transitional chapter that I've been stuck in for way to long. My next post will be from my new place, where I can rebuild. To until next time.