One month

So, I've been moved out for a month now, and holy cow, I have a lot of stuff. It amazes me how much stuff I have. Books, DVDs, camping gear, and pictures (along with frames). I have boxes that still haven't been put away because I need to figure out what to do with them all. I think I'm going to have to just donate much of the stuff. My Internet still hasn't been turned on...damn power outages and high winds.

Slowly, the place is coming together. Once everything is put together, I might have a house warming. For those that did help, thank you. Without your help, I wouldn't have been able to move so quickly.

Dejavu

Dejavu, that feeling or knowledge that you've done something before, or something happening and you feel that you've been through it. All those years ago, when I first started dating  my ex-wife, she had gone through a difficult time when her grandfather died. She was a mess, especially since she had just visited him less than a month before. She had a difficult time, and I was there for her. Fast forward to present day, and it's like dejavu.

My current girlfriend is going through the same thing. She just lost her grandfather, and she too just saw her grandfather less than a month before. I'm not trying to draw any parallels to the two relationships, as each are unique from each other. However, it did make me wonder if this is something that happens around me. Do I have some phantom that follows me around and offs grandfathers of those that I date? I'm not trying to make a joke, but it is something that I wonder.

I'm helping her focus...making sure that she gets to grieve, but still getting the things that needs to be done done. There will be time to grieve in a week...finals, get that done...I might sound cold, but it's the truth. The dead are dead...they'll still be dead when finals are done. I've lost people in my life as well, but things need to get done. We need to hold ourselves together to get them done, then we can grieve. When my father past, I had to keep it together. My family around me were heart broken, but I had to keep it together for my mother. She needed someone to be able to lean on, and so I was that rock. The foundation that kept her going, doing thing that needed to get done, even when we didn't want to.

Once again, I'm that rock. One more week, that's all. One week of keeping it together, then she'll be able to take the time that's needed for grieving. So for now, we got to take it one day at a time...slow and steady.

I finally moved out.

So last week I announced that I was officially divorced, this week, I'm moved out.

I'll be honest, I thought I could still live there in the house that we bought together. I thought that I could make due with being in the same house, even though she didn't sleep there anymore. I thought things would slowly get better for me, but ultimately, I wasn't happy. Sure I was in better shape than when I first started, but happiness was temporary. When I wasn't home, sure, my mind was elsewhere so it was easy to forget everything, easy to move on. However, I still had to come home at night. See the photos, the house, the rooms. Things that we bought together, our dog, which is now her dog.

In addition, I'll be honest, living there, I couldn't save any money. Everything that was divided, well turns out I've been paying for everything, mortgage, insurance, prop tax, everything. She was taking from me what I was suppose to be paying once a month, twice a month. Well, anyways, what's done is done. I'm out. Done. Finished.

Long run, this has got to be healthier for me right? I mean, staying there was driving me crazy. I felt uncomfortable in my own "home." People kept telling me that I needed to get out of there, and so now I finally have.I have my own place now. I have my own stuff. So begins a new chapter. A new part to this journey that is called life. I have my friends and my family, what more could I ask for.

It's official!

So Monday was my official date of my divorce. A friend once told me, "you never forget you're first. First kiss, first xxx, first divorce!" I honestly wish we could have parted ways still being friends, but there's just too much of a difference between us. I find this funny since we have been with each other for soooooo long. Alas, people change. Or in my case, didn't change.

My mom called me the other day to wish me congratulations on my divorce. I thought that was funny. Then she started to say that I should let her choose my next girlfriend, but stopped short if stating so. She realized that she did choose the ex, lol.

So what's happening, I'm finally moving out. I'm easing my hands of this entire thing. Walking away and never turning back. Today (actually Monday) will end this transitional chapter that I've been stuck in for way to long. My next post will be from my new place, where I can rebuild. To until next time.

Oops

<p>Checked out my paperwork...still married, well until the 24th that is. How I messed up on the date I haven't got a clue.</p>

The day its finally here!

Tomorrow it will be final. I will be officially divorced. I will no longer be attached to the women that I spent the last 3 years calling my wife. Looking back six months posted by fairly quickly.

Looking back, and rating all the things that I had written and recorded, both published and unpublished, I've come a long way. I've gone from my world tumbling down around me to actually being happy again. From crying (yes I'll admit to crying) every night to sleeping the whole night through. From being hurt and confused about what to do with my life to moving in a new direction.

Its amazing how much  can change in 6 months, but for now, I'll just stop here until everything is final. So until tomorrow.

Two weeks

Two more weeks and I'm a free man. Two more weeks and this chapter can be closed. Two weeks.

Also, have you ever noticed that after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W - T - F?