So this past week has been kind of hard. I haven't been sleep all that well. It started with waking up 30-60 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. I attributed this to the fact that the sun has been rising up earlier as well, so I tried keeping the blinds down so the sunlight wouldn't be so bright, but no luck...still up early. More recently, I've been waking up at 3 in the morning. No reason, just sometime in the 3 o'clock hour, I'd wake up. Again not sure what's causing this. The only thing that I can think of is I'm lonely.
For the last decade I've always had my ex in bed with me. Up until the separation, I could count on two hands the number of nights we weren't in the same bed. Now, I'm not writing this to say I want her back...I don't, but there something to be said about having a warm body in bed next to you. We're social creatures, and I, more than others I know, crave to be touched. With this divorce, I'm alone. I go to bed alone, and wake up alone. I actually crave physical contact. I'm not sure how to describe how I feel exactly because I'm not sure myself. I just know it's not a feeling that I enjoy.
Over time I guess this too will come to past, but I still felt that I should write about this. Keep a log, if you will, on my process through this adventure that we call life. The paper work has been signed by us both, and now we get to wait for a judge to sign off on everything...so once that happens, I'll be a free man.
For the last decade I've always had my ex in bed with me. Up until the separation, I could count on two hands the number of nights we weren't in the same bed. Now, I'm not writing this to say I want her back...I don't, but there something to be said about having a warm body in bed next to you. We're social creatures, and I, more than others I know, crave to be touched. With this divorce, I'm alone. I go to bed alone, and wake up alone. I actually crave physical contact. I'm not sure how to describe how I feel exactly because I'm not sure myself. I just know it's not a feeling that I enjoy.
Over time I guess this too will come to past, but I still felt that I should write about this. Keep a log, if you will, on my process through this adventure that we call life. The paper work has been signed by us both, and now we get to wait for a judge to sign off on everything...so once that happens, I'll be a free man.
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