To All My Fathers

I was ten when my father left us; mother and 3 boys, 10, 8, and 5. He left us with nothing...no money, no car, nothing. Growing up, my mother did her best, but we still had no father. Sure he visited on the Sundays in the beginning, but that stopped almost as soon as it started. My mother had a boyfriend, and he tried to be a father...but I never saw him as one. However, there has been 4 men in my life that I would consider as my fathers, or father figures.

First was Sabumnim, my Taekwondo instructor. From the time I was 13 until I went into college he was there for me. He spent time with me, and taught me not only Taekwondo, but what it was to be a man. Camping trips, sleepovers, tournaments, or sometimes just hanging out at 7-11. He helped me through my impressionable youth and kept me on the right path. For that I thank you.

Next, after going to college I met another man that has had a great influence on me...Sensei, my judo instructor. This man took me under his wing, guided me through the part of my life that we call adulthood, but yet I was still seeking guidance. Through him I learn much of what I know now about survival, health, wellness, and now I strive to perfect my character. I hope that I can be like him when I get to be his age. Thank you for teaching and guiding me in my path of becoming a great teacher.

My Father-in-law (unfortunately soon to be ex). This man took me in when I had no where to go. He treated me as his own son. We would have meaningful conversations about anything under the sun, or just sit and play Columns on the the Sega Genesis. Always patience, and never violent. He treated his family with nothing but respect, and loved and cared for everyone. You have given me an image of marriage that I will aspire to achieve in my future relationships. I know that even though you are still here among us that we will not see or talk to each other much if ever again, and for that I am sad.

Finally, my step-father, who was more a father to me than my own biological father ever had been. This man took in a women that already had 3 boys (16, 14, and 11) and treated them as his own. Taught us, raised us, provided for us. He wasn't like most other dads, taking us to ball games, or throwing the ball out in the yard/park. But one thing he did do...he loved all of us. Not just his new wife, my mother, but all of us.

One of the hardest things in my life that I've had to deal with was his death. I literally watched as he died. During his time dealing with his illness, he was living with me and my fiance at the time (the soon to be ex)...it was difficult for me...seeing him have is bad days and good ones. Listening to this man struggle to walk up my stairs, or eat his food. I'll always have fond memories of him, and I miss him dearly. He was taken from us to early.

The hardest thing this year for me...well, I'm loosing another father. I have a feeling once everything is finalized (divorce) I'll never hear from my father-in-law again. The idea of this also saddens me, but there's nothing that can be done. So, on this Father's Day, Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there.